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Observations On The Decline Of My Life

I don’t know why, but I feel compelled to blog.  Im not exactly sure about what though.  It looks like its going to be a long night tonight.  I am so not looking forward to it.  But I guess I have nobody to blame but myself, and thus probably deserve a sleepless night. 

So yea…I don’t know man.  I gotta get my life in serious order here.  It just seems like everything is static and I am going nowhere.  I am always stressed about the future.  I am never stressed about the present.  And whatever ends up happening in the future is going to be because I was not stressed in the present.  Its like this vicious cycle that I can’t get myself out of.  Sometimes I think that with all the stuff that man has accomplished over the Melania, we inevitably or by accident make our lives more difficult as each day goes by.  Or maybe its just me.  Maybe Im copping out.  More likely than not, it is I who has made my own life more complicated than it should be.  And maybe because of that, I will have opened up a whole can of worms in the future for me to deal with.  But even so…I don’t know how people deal with this sorta stuff. Or maybe I am over-blowing my whole situation and I just have to put things into perspective and context.  I think its quite clear to conclude that I am pretty lost nowadays.  All I really want is to live a carefree life and not be one of those people that hates what they do for a living, hates getting up from bed and living another day that they do not look forward to.  Right now at this point in time, it seems like I will be one of those people that hates their job.  And honestly, I dread that like you wouldn’t believe.  And yet, I am not taking the steps that will help me achieve a job that I love.  And I honestly wish I knew why.  I honestly do, but I don’t.  If I get a job that I hate, my whole life up to that point will have been in vein and therefore completely worthless.  And yet, despite all that I have just stated, I have no motivation to get up and do what I have to in order to achieve what I so badly desire.  And I don’t want to be one of those people that has to reach a horrid low in order to get my life in order.  That is something that I fear even more.  And its not like I am lacking anything in my life.  I have good parents, good friends, house, car…all that stuff… though I have no money and no girlfriend.   

I guess I will have to live every day until one day it finally hits me that I actually have to do something about this.  I hope that day comes soon and I hope it comes in peace, not by some horrid result. 

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  1. November 23, 2007 at 6:09 am

    I am pretty sure your human, ’cause I am pretty sure that everyone feels this way at some point or another. And maybe you are so passive about the present because you don’t know exactly where to start in concerns of the future? I don’t think stressing about the future or the present does anyone a bit of good, but acting on a personal goal or desire is better. Good luck!

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