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Posts Tagged ‘Ramblings’

Mondays…

November 24, 2008 2 comments

The week hasn’t even started yet and already today has been a write off. I got an essay due on Thursday and I was planning on starting it tonight but that didn’t really happen.  I’ll tell you why.  

First off, I can’t sleep these days and so I went to bed last night at around 12ish or so but didn’t fall asleep until around 5ish.  I ended up watching a movie on TV and it was only then that finally sleep came to me.  And then, I got up at 1 in the afternoon.  I could have slept more but my mom woke me up.  Mondays are bad for me because I only have one late afternoon class.  I should be going to this class, especially now given that the semester is almost over.  But not today.  I miss the one and only class I have.  So then I get onto campus at around 5ish in the evening, fully intending to work on my essay; gathering sources, reading them over and coming up with a rough outline of what will write, etc.  After briefly socialising with some friends, I went to the top floor of the library and sat in a cubicle.  I started off slowly but eventually began collecting sources, books and journal articles.  Since then, It has gone downhill from there.  

I’ve been on facebook for the last like three hours.  I’ve been listening to the same song for that long as well.  I’ve been talking on the phone, chatting on MSN and looking up useless stuff on the net.  And now the library tower is about to close in 45 minutes and I am too tired (even though I literally did nothing today) to begin studying.  

The worst part is, there is a free concert on campus tomorrow that I fully intend to attend that interfers with my prime studying time.  So tomorrow is another potential write off day.  So that leaves me only Wednesday to really begin this paper, write it and finish it if I plan on handing it on time on Thursday.  

I have two options here.  One, I can work really hard and get as much done as possible by Thursday, regardless of what time of day it is or Two, I can ask the prof for an extension.  

Hmmm….what to do; what to do?

Observations On The Decline Of My Life

November 23, 2007 1 comment

I don’t know why, but I feel compelled to blog.  Im not exactly sure about what though.  It looks like its going to be a long night tonight.  I am so not looking forward to it.  But I guess I have nobody to blame but myself, and thus probably deserve a sleepless night. 

So yea…I don’t know man.  I gotta get my life in serious order here.  It just seems like everything is static and I am going nowhere.  I am always stressed about the future.  I am never stressed about the present.  And whatever ends up happening in the future is going to be because I was not stressed in the present.  Its like this vicious cycle that I can’t get myself out of.  Sometimes I think that with all the stuff that man has accomplished over the Melania, we inevitably or by accident make our lives more difficult as each day goes by.  Or maybe its just me.  Maybe Im copping out.  More likely than not, it is I who has made my own life more complicated than it should be.  And maybe because of that, I will have opened up a whole can of worms in the future for me to deal with.  But even so…I don’t know how people deal with this sorta stuff. Or maybe I am over-blowing my whole situation and I just have to put things into perspective and context.  I think its quite clear to conclude that I am pretty lost nowadays.  All I really want is to live a carefree life and not be one of those people that hates what they do for a living, hates getting up from bed and living another day that they do not look forward to.  Right now at this point in time, it seems like I will be one of those people that hates their job.  And honestly, I dread that like you wouldn’t believe.  And yet, I am not taking the steps that will help me achieve a job that I love.  And I honestly wish I knew why.  I honestly do, but I don’t.  If I get a job that I hate, my whole life up to that point will have been in vein and therefore completely worthless.  And yet, despite all that I have just stated, I have no motivation to get up and do what I have to in order to achieve what I so badly desire.  And I don’t want to be one of those people that has to reach a horrid low in order to get my life in order.  That is something that I fear even more.  And its not like I am lacking anything in my life.  I have good parents, good friends, house, car…all that stuff… though I have no money and no girlfriend.   

I guess I will have to live every day until one day it finally hits me that I actually have to do something about this.  I hope that day comes soon and I hope it comes in peace, not by some horrid result.